A Method of Living

Photo by Rinni

Every once in a while I’ll start writing with a theme or thought in mind and it starts to go all over the place.  This is one that I decided to dust off and post it in parts.  The notes were taken during my Greek vacation a couple of years ago.  The crux of it is about how I choose to walk the road.  It may seem that I’m making some judgments, and maybe I am, but it’s simply a method to put my pace into some context.  If you’re open-minded and confident then read on.

As an American culture it seems to me that we are very caught up in the daily grind to the extent that we wear the workaholic badge with pride.  From the 40-hour work week and one-hour lunch break to the two-week vacations we thrust ourselves through it all. 

It’s the relaxation time that concerns me today because it seems that we try to cram too much stuff into our annual two weeks of rest and end up missing out on the whole point.  We make these checklists and run at break-neck speed to only barely check the blocks and it’s those blocks that seem to determine success or failure.  The result is that our vacation becomes the very grind we sought to escape. 

An example is a family I spoke to while in Athens who were on a typical U.S. style vacation.  They flew for nine + hours and checked into a chain hotel and participated in every guided tour they could get themselves into.  There was little research done on the country or culture, save for the tips they received from the travel agent back in the states.  To be fair, when you’re as busy as this family is you’d need a little help organizing this sort of trip.  The agent’s focus was efficiently using the family’s vacation budget to get them the most quantity and volume. 

Photo by Tom

It was evident to me that they were glad to be there and that the ruins in Greece had made an impression because they enthusiastically discussed their appreciation for what the ancient Greeks had to employ in order to create these incredible cultural marvels. 

One of the adults mentioned how nice it would have been to see it all before time and elements wore them all down.  The real interesting point she made was that they regretted not being able to take their time on this vacation and that it would be nice to come back and stroll through Athens rather than rush through it. 

Life is a race

That feeling expressed by the American tourists really got me thinking about how we approach life and particularly our free time.  There are so many people these days who fill every waking moment with self generated noise and physical action.  Truly living to me is the reason I walk slowly, stop often, and remain silent throughout.

 

On any given day in Greece I might spend a total of 20 minutes on the phone and a few 30 second bursts talking to people, offering to shoot a picture for some American tourists or ordering some food.  I think most people would probably find the time in between boring but it is so much easier to catch everything that’s going on around me when I am still and silent.  This way of being allows me to extend all of the senses, taking in everything from texture, color, volume and tone to the multitude of smells, both sharp and subtle.  It’s like a theater of the mind that gives you an internal appreciation for a more complete ambiance. 

It’s that need to truly feel these things that encourages me to find that state of quiet reflection.  You can’t do that when you are compelled to constantly move and jabber. 

The precious few

Photo by Tom

My close friends are rare because they know the balance.  In a group setting over dinner they are lively and entertaining conversationalists.  However, after climbing through an ancient village and up a slope to reach the tallest point on the island we’re visiting, there isn’t a word spoken.  That is a gift that allows each of us to go off the beaten path and take in the sights and sounds from city below or the small church nestled in the pines.  The discussion is tabled until after we’ve all had our fill.

It’s why I appreciate my wife.  We can read, draw or write and be completely lost in the fiction or take a hike through the hall of mosses without a word spoken allowing both of us to appreciate and stimulate that theater of the mind.  She is so rare and only on a couple of occasions have I ever found others who can just take it in and savor a moments like those without a million interruptions or questioning, “what’s wrong”---to which I generally reply, “other than someone talking everything else is very right”.

Appreciating the natural ambience is why one of my favorite places to live will always be one with a salty breeze and crashing waves.  One of those places for me was Waimea Bay as the sun begins to peak out over the water with its promise of a warm day.  Those were mostly solitary moments but I had occasionally shared them with one friend or another before diving into the ocean to find sea turtles.  Ah, how I love snorkeling with the muted underwater sounds.

Maybe…no, certainly that’s one of the key elements that was missing in some of my friendships, particularly when I was dating.  I don’t get why people can’t see that all that jabbering is counterproductive.  I still perceive all that noise-making as a sign of discomfort or a lack of confidence.  I lose patience with those kinds of people.

I gravitate toward people who talk when it matters and about something with value.  I value the instances where my senses are allowed to explore more freely paved the way for some incredible conversations but it always starts without the words…words can come later.  Those are the moments that truly make me feel alive, when I’ve had a chance to take it all in and share it later. 

Photo by Tom

Living isn’t about cataloging each stop seen, song heard, or topic discussed.  Living for me is taking in each experience in its sensory whole, sometimes shared and sometimes alone, with nothing more the ocean of life around me and savoring every drop.

That’s my cup of tea, how I like to do the day to day outside work.  That’s also the beautiful think about this world we live in, it’s full of all different sorts of folks who do things in all different sorts of ways.  I think that no matter what path you walk, what’s important is that it’s a path you chose and that you’re able to walk it to the beat of your own drum.